I came. I had to go. I squatted.

So I'm having this amazing time in Beijing. Lots to say. No time to write all that I want to write. No worries though: I'm doing lots of journaling! (obviously "journaling" is not a word because it's showing up red on here)

But a quick story.

As you know from my previous posting, I was really afraid of the whole squat and pee/poop situation. I was told that because I was going to downtown Beijing in a nice fancy hotel I wouldn't have to worry about it. They were right.

However, we traveled 3 hours north of Beijing on Wednesday to visit a remote area of the Great Wall. After trekking through desolate villages (and my bladder starting to become uncomfortably full from the water and coffee I was drinking) I began to hyperventilate, anticipating the inevitable 'squat-n-pee' I was bound to endure.

Needless to say, before making the climb toward the great wall, I went to the room marked "toilet" and there it was: my nemesis... the hole in the bottom of the floor. With shaking limbs I got into position, hanging onto the door with my fingers for dear life (fearing my balance was off and I'd fall back INTO the hole) and did the deed. I then proceeded to use about 40 baby wipes (they don't have toilet paper) on any part of me capable of receiving "sprayage," zipped up and went outside. There was a sign on the toilet that said "please save water" so I assume they meant that unless it's number two you aren't supposed to flush... I flushed anyway. Who wants to pee on top of pee?

So I did it. I faced a fear and I overcame it. Or at least squatted on it.

into the woods

So... since working on Into the Woods, I've been contemplating my fears...

Going "into the woods" is a metaphor for facing your fears in life, getting what you "wish," etc. The writing is superb and full of depth, the music (Sondheim) challenging and fun... go see it somewhere. Every high school is attempting it.

I'm the type of person who freaks out about stuff... and if I start thinking about one fear, I start thinking about all of them. And then I really freak out.

So I put my fears in categories so as to relieve some of the overwhelming feelings I get. Here's an example:

Small fears:
- in my rush in getting ready to leave the house, putting on two mis-matched shoes. (this is especially probable because I have some shoes in the exact style in black and brown)
- locking my keys and cell phone in the car at the same time, therefore giving me no way to call a tow truck.
- worrying that my gums will recede so much that I'll have teeth as big as julia roberts (and that would look really weird with my face)
- i get nervous every time I go to a restaurant that they won't have low calorie dressing available for my inevitable salad.

Medium fears:
- spiders or other creepy crawly things living in my house; seeing them, killing them, etc.
- that I am a lousy teacher
- falling when I run
- being so fat that I won't fit in an airline seat
- saying something without thinking to someone that hurts their feelings

Big fears:
I'm not going to trouble you with any of these. They are typical fears in the death and love categories.

Fear of the day:
The whole "bathroom" situation in China. I'm told in public places they have "the hole." No seats... lots of spray. I'm really freaking out about this. So much so that I went to walmart and bought 2 lbs. of baby wipes.
I want to know exactly what they look like, what I'll have to do, and how to do it over there. And I can't really practice here in the states. Unless it's outside. And I'm pretty sure I'll get arrested for that.

My fear cannot be conquered until I go there. So until then I am doing lots of visual therapy, deep breathing and praying that my bladder will become the size of a small swimming pool so I can hold it until I come back to the good ol' U. S. of A.

:)